How to overcome fear
without trying to avoid it
If you google ‘How to overcome fear?’ you’ll find c. 30 million results !
And that’s a lot of stuff to read 😉
But what’s interesting is that there are twice as many ‘Google results’ – yes c.60 million – on the question of ‘How to avoid fear?’
So, when you get fearful about certain matters – as we all do – which of those questions do you ask?
How to overcome that fear?
Or, how to avoid it?
The best answer, as you can see from this NHS guidance, is to face into your fears and overcome them.
Or, as Mark Twain once said, “courage is the mastery of fear not the absence of it”
So, what we know is that when fear – or any other ‘so called’ negative emotion comes knocking . . . it’s best to ‘let it in’ and say hello to it.
It won’t hurt you . . . and it’s probably got something important to tell you.
Unfortunately, this is not what you’ll hear from many of those motivational gurus.
Watch out for the success seminar trick
If you’ve ever attended one of those motivational (or get rich quick) seminars, you’ll probably have been asked this question by the session leader
“What’s holding you back – from achieving your dreams”
And if you were surrounded by lots of regular “motivational” seminar goers . . .
. . . then you might have heard them all shout out the answer . . .
You see, a lot of these motivational gurus will tell you that fear is the only thing stopping you from achieving your dreams.
But that’s just dangerous rubbish of course.
And, what’s more, it’s often simply a cheap trick to get you to ‘sign up’ to their next event.
So let’s see why this trick works and how to avoid it.
Then you can focus on finding some quality help . . .
. . . to achieve more of what really matters in your life.
The trick played by many event leaders is to get us focused on our FOMO – our fear of missing out.
And it works with a lot of people – because no one wants to fail or be humiliated.
So, when the event leader, and perhaps some planted groupies too, tell us that we’re failing because we’re ‘afraid’ of success . . .
. . . well, then we’ll want to prove them wrong.
Our natural inclination – in that moment – will be to show them that we’re not afraid. And that we’re ‘brave enough’ to commit to our success by signing up to their next event.
And why wouldn’t we ?
After all that’s where all those success secrets will be revealed right 😉
What’s more, the idea of making an instant commitment to the next event is, made all the more compelling by the amazing ‘today only’ offer.
I’m sure you’ll have heard it before.
I attend quite a lot of these gigs (either live or online) for research purposes and this is how they go.
This ‘secrets of success’ event is normally priced at $2,000.
But it’s available to you lovely people for just $200.
Yes, that’s 90% off.
But only if you sign up right now.
How can you say no?
Surely, that’s a no brainer.
You’re surely not afraid to give it a go . . . are you?
Well, personally, I don’t think it’s right to prey on people’s fears to sell them some dodgy ‘get rich quick’ seminar.
And, I can tell you that a lot of these seminars are downright misleading.
And here’s the truth . . .
Acknowledging your fear is OKAY
It can be good for your health – and your wealth.
So, as I like to say . . .
. . . being afraid – is nothing to be afraid of 😉
Fear can protect you from harm.
It stops you in your tracks and gets you to take your time on more complex and dangerous tasks.
Like learning to Ski in the mountains, or parachute out of an aeroplane . . .
. . . or even learning to fly that aeroplane.
I’ve learned to do all of those things over the years.
And, I can promise you, they ARE frightening at times.
So, the last thing you need is some ‘idiot’ telling you to ‘get a move on’ . . .
. . . or that ‘the only thing holding you back – is your fear!’
That’s totally misleading and dangerous rubbish.
Here’s what really holds you back
The thing that holds you back is a lack of knowledge and skills at the task you want to learn.
Your fear simply reminds you of this fact.
It’s not holding you back – it’s looking after you. And so do many of the ‘so called’ negative emotions – as we’ll come back to another day.
Would you seriously want to jump into an aeroplane and try to fly it – without any training?
Or jump out of an aeroplane with a parachute without knowing what to do?
No, of course not – that would be madness.
If you want a new skill but you’re afraid of getting started, the answer is simple.
Learn more about it – before you commit to it.
And be absolutely sure to learn from someone who’s competent and trustworthy too.
You’ll then learn how to manage your risks . . .
. . . or, once you have a better understanding of those risks, you might even decide to avoid the activity altogether.
Take walking on hot coals at a motivational seminar as an example 😉
Let’s be honest, some activities offer no real benefits and are just stupidly dangerous things to do.
And here’s the thing
You’re unlikely to get to hear about the ‘failed’ results from the dangerous activities from those who market them.
You’re only going to see the video testimonials of the celebrating survivors.
This is what’s called survivorship bias – you just don’t get to see the whole truth.
So, you need to do your own homework – or work with someone who can help you with that.
And the same goes for learning to manage your money too.
So please don’t fall for this fear based technique.
Don’t jump into some ‘get rich quick’ scheme that someone has ‘frightened’ you into grabbing at one of these high octane events.
Anyone who’s happy to frighten you into action
is not the kind of person you want helping you
Find someone who’ll offer you solid and balanced guidance.
. . . and who’s experienced and qualified to help you too.
Your fears are there to protect you. And solid training and education are your keys to dealing with what causes those fears.
So, get the training you need – and be sure to choose your coach wisely.
Click on any of these 3 links if you want to learn more about:
- Whether you need a coach at all
- How NOT to choose a coach and
- What my financial life coaching is all about
And whatever you do – be sure to sign up to my newsletters.
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All the best for now.
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